We only suffer a few moments, but our thoughts have the power to make the pain last forever.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.
« Except physical suffering, everything is imaginary. » Jacques Chardonne.
« Suffering is a good teacher » Eric Neuhoff.
The pain lasts only (longer or shorter, in fact …) . Rather reassuring when you want to quickly move on. Rather depressing if our brain plays tricks on us … and makes our pain last longer than necessary . I propose to make a point on the pain (mental) which will allow us to understand it and to accept that it lasts only one time, whatever one says about it.
The benefits of pain
« The benefits of pain, what? But I’m not maso, me! » But no, but no, sweet. (mental) pain has its benefits, just as our mistakes are important because they teach us.
When we suffer, we try at all costs to get away from this pain. Unpleasant, heavy and far from ephemeral, the pain is disturbing and yet, it pushes us to move forward.
When we feel bad, we look for ways to get better.
« Ah well no, not me … I’m more like letting myself perish …
– And you say you’re not maso?
– Heu … «
Oh yes ! We want to quickly wipe away our pain when it reaches the peak of the unbearable. We put ourselves in mission commando:
* We pass dozens of calls to our friends,
* We organize parties to feel less alone,
* We come out of our melancholy cave,
* We reach out for someone to come to our rescue,
* We embark on projects that we thought about before, without really daring to go
* We are trying to paint,
* We deepen our musical culture, cinematographic,
* We let our creativity wander (which is a good remedy to disconnect a little from reality),
* We join associations,
* We volunteer…
In short: when we suffer and we want to escape the pain, there is nothing like finding an activity that makes us disconnect from our suffering temporarily. Little by little, the pain disappears… Naturally.
Suffering helps us understand each other.
You are hurt and you do not understand why. It’s time to do a quick psycho checkup, do not you think? Seek the why and how of this suffering, dig, do not be afraid. Once the core of pain found in you, you will be more able to understand you in the moments when you will be raplapla and you will leave your melancholic cave more quickly! To escape the pain is good, but after having understood it only. Otherwise, you will be condemned to suffer much more often. Suffering is the result of a meeting with an uncontrollable external event and your interior. You can not control outside events, but you can control your inside and get to know each other at your fingertips. And the more you know yourself, the more freedom you give your being to react other than by suffering.
Suffering develops empathy.
Is a person who has suffered / suffers from the same ills as you are most likely to understand you? In suffering, your brain records the cause of the pain and the intensity of the pain felt. When you are in contact with a person who suffers from the same ills as you, the natural empathy developed after your suffering can help.
Pain has its benefits, of course. But she also has her misdeeds. « No, no kidding? »
The pain and its misdeeds
Pain can prevent us from moving forward, separating ourselves from ourselves, withdrawing into ourselves.
The pain can be traumatic, and we block our momentum. The rejection of others, the refusal, the total lack of control that we have in this or that situation, the causes of the pain are infinite and differ for each one of us. It is necessary to understand the cause of the pain in order to get rid of it. Once free, we will be able to decide whether or not we wish to suffer for this or that. We must achieve independence in the face of pain. We must understand that it is possible to get rid of it. We must understand that suffering is not the only response to a difficult event.
Pain: agree to let her go.
Whatever one says, accepting that the pain can go away is difficult. When we suffered for a long time, the pain became a kind of habit, a common thread, our excuse for all attacks: « I’m in a bad mood because I’m suffering » « I’m not going out because I’m in pain » » I’m mean because I suffer « …
Accept that the pain can go away, it’s accepting to take a new path. It is accepting to have to advance on our own without these excuses that were so comfortable before. It means accepting happiness, which can cease from one minute to the next, and is as uncontrollable as the wind.
Accepting to let go of the pain is to accept being free of its choices and its moods, its thoughts and the weight of the bags that are worn on the back.
Understand the core of your pain, and at that moment, allow yourself to detach yourself from it. Free yourself!
See you soon,
Mary
